I have noticed that I write more, and more meaningfully, when I am depressed. I miss that fire and passion I used to have as I hammered my keyboard with my non-believing non-empathetic former spouse sitting with me on the sofa. Years and years of despair and nearly 1000 posts teaching the Truth to people seeking answers.
Yahuah truly does use our sorrows to make us stronger.
A few days ago I strongly sensed that our Savior is about to walk right into our world. The days we have long dreaded and longed for are here. The war in Ukraine will expand like a runaway grass fire. I look for assassinations to begin soon. Key decision-makers in various locations around the world will begin falling dead, either from “unknown causes” or from outright public killings. Messages sent.
More food manufacturing plants are burning down this week. Bug-producing industries are starting to build plants in several US locations.
I’m listening to some music as I write this. Enya: Watermark, an album that literally saved my life in 1992. I listened to it over and over and over in the night as I studied for my university degree. It wasn’t the studying that drove the music, but my desperation over losing my precious and beautiful and perfect daughter, age six. Divorce.
Her mom was sleeping with a male whore from her workplace and concluded that she wanted a divorce. I was fine with seeing her go away, but pistol-in-my-mouth despondent over leaving my daughter there. I nearly broke the steering wheel off my truck one afternoon after leaving her in the driveway with her mother. The end of one of those “custody weekends”. The shrieking that came from me as I hammered that steering wheel, doing all to smash it to pieces.
The horrors of living in this world.
I knew there was a god back then, but I cursed Him violently. I raised my fist to Him and cursed Him loudly, defiantly. I tried atheism, but to no avail. I knew He is.
Losing Annie did bad things to me.
Then in 1993, one year and a few months later – the revealing. Yahuah showed me that some kind of death was right in my face, looking directly at me as I looked directly at it. And that night in El Paso, TX, I got on my knees and surrendered forever. What a merciful and loving and forgiving GOD He is.
He never mentions my sins. He forgives and forgets them. All Yahuah is interested in is a
Yahuah is faithful. He is the most faithful of any entity. Yahuah is always with those who have relationships with Him. He is present. He listens. He laughs when something is funny, something that pleases Him. He loves to see a new believer begin to walk in the Way.
He loves the old and the new, equally. We are His children whom He loves. He has an inheritance for us and we will be given our inheritance when we leave our bodies to stand before Him to be welcomed home. No power, no war, no death, no wicked plan can separate us from Him. It is as impossible as powdered water.
I am torn, sometimes. Some days I want to go now. I want to leave this human life and go to my Father and rejoice and praise Him forever. I want to stand in His presence for eternity, arms lifted, face upturned, never moving my feet for one million years. He is more magnificent than we can hope to imagine. He is the Alpha and the Omega. Oh Lord.
Yet I do not pray to go. I do not beg my Father to take me now, no. I pray that He will let me see the ascension of my children into Heaven, that I will watch them rise to meet Yahusha when He reveals Himself to the whole world. That day will soon come.
When I see them rise, though I long for heaven, there is still one thing to do on this earth. I pray that He will let me remain until the end, so that I may seek out any who might want to be saved. Any without the Mark, who are pleading for Truth. I do so want to defy the Dragon. I was born for battle. War is in my veins, and it is for this purpose that Yahuah saved me.
My salvation is assured. My ascension into Heaven is certain. I know with certainty that I do and will live forever in Paradise with my Father. He sealed me and turned me and is my constant companion. I praise Him at work. I praise Him driving my 4Runner. I praise Him on my motorcycle. I praise Him at the gym. I praise Him in my bed. I praise Him upon waking and when laying down to sleep. I praise Him when I have nothing, and I praise Him when I have plenty. He is my Lord and my protector. He is my Father with whom I walk all the days of my life.
He and He alone is faithful. He is worthy of any price, be it spouse, child, money, position, power, eyesight, heart, lungs, friends, family, fortune. Whatever must be paid in order to possess such a friend – PAY IT. Ask Him to take whatever He wants that will enable you to lay down your life to Him, so that you might pick it up again redeemed.
The end of days is here. The process of destruction is under way. The initial Seals are opened and running as planned. Eyes are opening, hearts are hardening. The Separation of the Righteous is happening. Do not cling to this world nor anything in this world. Let it go. Let go. In doing so, you will see your life transform into something that you must experience to understand.
Watermark just finished. Praise Yah!
There are many of you that I know now. I love knowing you. I am so grateful to have you in my life. You are meaningful to me and I love to read your comments. I love hearing about your life. I hurt when you are hurting, but these days are passing before us very quickly.
Be encouraged, you who walk in Truth. Remain strong. This human life was never intended to be blissful. It is merely human life, created so that Yahuah can separate His Righteous ones from the wicked. This very life is a winnowing blade, and the edge of that blade is Satan. Satan is a worker bee, tempting, lying, destroying all whom Yahuah allows him to destroy.
You who walk in the Way may walk fearlessly, rejoicing that Yahuah selected you for life. So you stand strong. Do not exhibit doubt or fear or uncertainty, but be a strong pillar of Truth and hope and everlasting love and respect for our Father who comes to rule for 1000 years.
Heaven is the reality. Earth is the testing facility.
Peace to your soul. Courage to your heart. Certainty to your mind.
wow Jerry, you are such a great writer!! and now that you have me crying/blubbering like a child..i will get some tissues and sit and ponder. THANK you Sir!
You are so cool, Kim. I’ll share a small secret with you. When I am desperate to read something, anything that will give me peace, on a hard day, I read my own words on this site. I tell you Kim, I read things that are so perfect that I do not believe I wrote them myself. Seriously. So when you cry, believe this: I cry with you. Very often when I write, I cry while I am writing. Those are very good days for me. Enjoy your life, Kim. Do things that you love doing. Be productive. Get your household in order. Make peace with everyone. Forgive everything. Devote your remaining days to Truth, to Yahuah and to loving, especially the people you see every day. Love them. Accept everyone just as they are. Be the light for them, Kim. They really, really need you.
everyday..i start with him and end with him. i started bible study, with the help of brenda weltner on youtube. everyday, i learn something new and precious about him.
Hi Jerry. Things in Oz are going from bad to worse,and yet almost everyone is unaware, mimicking the walking dead. I loved reading this post it made me feel so many emotions😊 We also lost our little jack russel foxy cross of 16 yrs, absolutely heart breaking, so Mike, i know how you feel. The battle is here, isnt it, right at the door. I think of you very fondly, and thank you so much for you, just being you😊 kindest regards Nell. Just reread the last lines its kind of muddled but you get the gist.
Hi, Nell. I really appreciate your words. Someday, probably this year, I will lose my web hosting for “inappropriate content”, so we still have a little time left to buck up. I hope you are not overly depresses about all this, because Yahuah promised these days would come. He also said that we can avoid this end if we would pray and repent and follow Him, but I just don’t see that happening. We are all so very like-minded, its like we are all in one family, all of one mind. Enjoy your life, Nell. Do things you love, commune with Yahuah constantly and swim in His good companionship. He loves you so very, very much. He says to be fearless in these last days. He says you have nothing to fear, Nell. You personally. You. Live the life that gives you peace, my love. You have already won the war. It’s done.
Hi Jerry, I couldn’t have said that better myself. Me and you have a lot in common brother. I too am a warrior, as are some of my best friends who I brought to Yah. We are all preparing in every way possible, that we may be able to stand against the firey datrs of gadrael, the Nachash, devil. We are all fighters and all in till the end. I can’t wait for this show to be over brother. I am hurting pretty bad right now with sorrow that words can’t speak. I just put down my best friend and companion Jack, my 15 year old Jack Russel Terrier, and the process is ripping my heart out of my chest man. Please keep a fellow warrior and his wife, and this man of Yah in your prayers. I could use some comfort right now. We talked before, and I hope that one day again we can chat, Yah bless brother, and nice words. Keep up the good fight, no matter where that takes us. Ps.… Read more »
Hi Mike. Yes, I remember us discussing some scriptural information. That’s been a while. Sorry about your buddy. I have a great dog too, and he is getting old. Dogs actually love us and it is terrible to lose one. I know that some animals will be in heaven. Yahuah states in Genesis that He will deal harshly with cruel or vicious animals, so there is some kind of afterlife for some animals. Maybe you will see your Jack Russell again. Very cool dogs, those.
Yes, the end of coming like the rising sun. Fast. That feeling I had about the imminent return of Yahusha was more than a “feeling”. I felt the tension in my chest, like it was going to happen any second and I was going to be facing Him. It was painful and frightening and I could feel it in my chest. Something massive is right at the door.