I saw a friend weeping today. A grown man, weeping over his personal mistakes. He is a fine man, one of the best I know. I met him years ago and respected him immediately.
In fact, it was at a Passover event, where we slaughtered a large sheep and cooked it outdoors over a wet-from-rain fire. It was chilly. There were debates over the cooking, but none from my friend. He doesn’t involve himself in the debates of others unless he is asked. And he had better things to do.
That is when I met him, and the year was maybe 2016. Perhaps 2017.
He is an unusual fellow, rough looking and as gentle as a lamb. Knowledgeable, unimposing, and a dreamer. He dreams of the best that things can be, and like anyone who dares to dream such dreams, lives with some significant disappointment.
Today I saw him praying beneath the tallit which I was holding. I watched him gently step beneath the outside edge of the tallit, and I watched him close his eyes, look up and absorb the breath of Yahuah as the prayer was closing. He got every last vapor of the Ruach of Yahuah, and I knew that he was in sorrow.
I spoke to my brother about ten minutes later, asking him how he was doing. He replied that he was fine, and inquired about myself, to which I replied that I too was “fine”.
We continued for a few minutes and soon enough, he was confessing to me his rich and heartfelt regret for making the mistakes he has made in his life. He blamed, correctly, his greatest regrets upon his own bad decisions. Fear of Yahuah is the beginning of wisdom, and realization that we are our own worst enemy is the proof of it.
He wept bitterly in those few minutes, and I understood his pain. We are old men, you see. We have seen much, hurt much, loved much, dreamed much and wept much. What we know to expect is heaven. We are ready for it because life on earth is sorrowful. There are moments of joy, moments of happiness, moments when those we love indicate that they love us as well. We see far into the future and we are glad to be leaving this earth.
Today I also wept. I reminded my Father of his promise to me. I maintained respect for Him, but by a narrow margin. He has given me dreams, and visions, and He has spoken aloud to me. He saved me from the demons, and He filled me with His Spirit. He did all of those things without my having to ask Him.
I did not know what happened when He filled me with His Spirit. I thought I had gone insane. He rescued me from the demons by showing me plainly who it was that I was with. He opened my eyes and showed me the alien. They are not alive, but are organic machines inhabited by the spirits of the dead Nephilim, the hybrid non-human offspring of fallen angels and human women. These things can change their form, change their appearance. He showed me that by letting me experience that.
He gave me a vision of a woman whom I met two days later. Although the process of telling her of the vision was very difficult, and although I am uncomfortable with her behavior subsequent to sharing with her my vision, I am faithful to that vision even still.
He showed me a vision of a human spirit leaving the body of my brother as the bullets raced to harm him. The manifestation of the spirit is exponentially faster than the bullets in flight. He would be out of his body before he even heard the rifle.
Yahuah showed me a tremendous vision of a flaming sword, and He assured me that He is coming to separate the Righteous from the unrighteous.
He showed me my mother dying and my sister waiting for my mother to leave her body. My sister was already with Yahuah, and she wore a dress of fine lace made from pure gold. Her hair was tall upon her head, like a crown of spun gold, and her eyes were the most beautiful I have ever seen. She turned toward me in this dream, and smiled at me hugely, like she was having the most exciting moment in her life. She could not wait to take mother to Yahuah.
So my relationship with the Most High, the Ancient of Days, He who IS, Ani, El Shaddai, Yahuah is rich and deep. He marked me that night in the desert. I am His and He is mine. I do and will obey Him because He is . Though obedience is difficult and life filled with more sorrow than we can carry, we of the Way remain on the path laid down before us, though the sorrows end only at death.
Yahuah can be no less than Yahuah.