Lovely. Have you ever been so depressed that you could not motivate yourself to do what you knew you had to do? And its “Thanksgiving” and you want to make the drive to see your aging parent and very ill sister because its the tribulation and there might not be another year for us yet you are constantly admonished to “pack the truck”, a rather large one considering its just me.
That has been my reality for a few days – totally unmotivated to pack up and leave my boys but driven to do so by another person. Relentless “load the truck” and the nagging desire to self-terminate just to share my state-of-mind. But not.
Yet Yahuah has blessed me tremendously. My status of “divorced” came literally four days after I prayed to Yahuah to end it three years ago. Fifteen years of a cruelly manipulative marriage had just about ruined me, and my prayers changed from preserving our marriage to ending it. And I am very specific about the time frame. One Monday I asked for Him to end it, and four days later I was served with divorce papers. Clearly Yahuah set me free. Yet I came back after a year when she asked me to because my children are here. I spent a year living in a rather gross situation (at the other end of the house) and now on Thanksgiving, I am thankful to be leaving forever.
As many of you have asked, the vision I had regarding a wife was real. It started out extremely stressful for me. Two months of begging God to give her a dream or something, but no. I had to go to a woman I did not know and tell her that she was the focal point of a vision I had regarding a prayer for a wife.
Try that in your church 🙂
WOW. That was one of the most stressful times of my life, shaking and trembling and stuttering and stammering and pleading with God to put some of the burden on her. But He told me that the responsibility was mine and that He wanted me to carry the ball.
The whole thing was about faith. I faithfully executed to the best of my ability for weeks. I walked the walk. Spoke Truth. Kept the faith and continually adhered to trust and obedience. But the exercise hit a significant snag on the very day that we had the first, only and best date ever. Beautiful, funny, fun, hours long of great conversation and gladness. Then boom.
No comment on the boom other than to say this: I do not think it is finished. Two reasons. First reason is that Yahuah has plenty of time and is not silly or ignorant. He knows what He is doing and my job is to be faithful. Second: A song runs through my mind every day of my life now. I do not know the lyrics, the name of or the creator of this song. I know about eight words and those are in my head every day and have been since boom.
She sang this song, which is why it is in my head, like a reminder of something good.
Therefore, I continue to plan and to do things necessary to proceed. For example, and significantly, I got a new job that includes a 60 percent increase in pay. Sixty-percent is a big increase, which I need. And after that, I interviewed for a different position within a different company and that position is stellar. A job I have wanted for years, and I do mean stellar.
These moves were discussed by myself and the woman in the vision. She was aware of them as a possibility, and since boom I have secured the first upgrade and am poised to secure the major upgrade next week. I interviewed for 1.5 hours with the Vice President of said company and he and I get along famously. He is a rare and blessed man whom I will love working with. One more interview and then I believe we will have a “go”.
And the best part is this: If I never have a wife or if the woman in the vision is never part of my life, I still have the benefits and blessings of my merciful Father. Why? Because of faith and obedience. I did what He asked me to do every time, and now I am reaping the harvest of my faith. In fact, Yahuah could have given me the toughest assignment I have ever had not to get me “married up”, but to simply prove His love for me.
So this Thanksgiving I’m rather pumped. Dating and all that stuff is really exhausting. Making money is fun. Denise is probably right. If you have not read some of Denise’s comments, she is a very wise woman who offered me some sage advice. “Don’t do it” 🙂 And I’m laughing but her reasoning was so excellent that I would be an idiot to ignore her.
The vision did not instruct me to marry, not did it instruct the woman to marry. The vision of her was simply His pointing at the woman who met the standards of my plea. A high compliment to her from her maker, for sure.
But I was blessed hugely. It was really a powerful experience and I am more than grateful for it. My life is brighter than ever and I look forward to much more writing. I have great friends who seek and serve the Truth, and we have a tidy war with satan to fight.
So let’s get to that business, shall we?