Tag: fear

Originally posted on July 7, 2019 @ 8:00 am

Like a mighty vise clamping down on the flesh and bones of humanity, so the world is squeezed by the crushing hand of Yahuah.  Sin, which is rebellion, earns its just reward.

There is a way that seems right unto man, that in the end leads to death.  So it is.  I am grateful that Yahuah shows me these things.  He teaches me Truth, opens my heart to His teachings, and loads me up with what seems more than I can bear.

I am so different from everyone I meet, and lonely.  I live a solitary life, and He seems to call me to this.  He has His reasons, His purpose.  He knows what to do.

But His Word tells us that He will never place more on us than we can bear, and that we are to place our burdens on Him.  But how does one place grief in Him, when it exists within our heart?  How does one stop grieving, when grief, by its very essence, resides within us?  To give that to Him?

What it is, is this: The juxtaposition of love with selfishness.  To feel and experience the potential and to live with the demands of selfishness creates a tear in the fabric of one’s soul.  To see the good, as if it is a distant shore, and to yearn for it as one floats at sea in a boat denied that shore, is hard.

We are capable of loving to an extent unimaginable.  Yet we fear that love, we fear giving it, and rightly so considering the fraud and deciet that passes for common behavior in people.  All of us struggle with living truthful lives.  Just when we think ourselves rather truthful, we offer up a lie where the truth belongs.

We hate to be convicted of our sin, and our pride insists that we be invulnerable.  Why?

Fear.

We fear being that open heart.  We fear offering love when we are most wounded.  We hide behind “success” or wealth or popularity or a fancy car or other possessions.  I do not know a single soul who lives from love.  Not even me, the mighty Jerry Davis, Son of Daud and Lion of Truth.

In fact, I am quite well armed.  I prepare for war, not for love.  I see the collapse of our world and I prepare to defend myself and my family.  I am so much the warrior that I seem unable and unwilling to become love.  Yet love is the true strength.

Abraham, the righteous man, the progenitor of the Hebrew, a promise kept by Yahuah , lied sometimes.  He also led his men into battle against the kings who conquered Sodom.  Study Abraham’s youth.  You will be impressed.  He was always one willing to fight wickedness.  What a fine man he is.

Daud, whom has been renamed “David” by the transliteralists who mangle the Words, was a man after Yahuahs own heart.  From the throne of Daud, Mashiach Yahusha will rule for 1000 years.  Hail Yahusha, my friend, the Living Truth.

Daud was a mighty warrior.

My name and my ancestors, Davis, comes from a region near Wales, on the island of Britian.  My name is a creation of the English-speaking people over there, who referred to my people as “the davy’s” , or “Davids sons”.  The Hebrew spelling, as far as I can determine, is בניו של דוד.

Going back 400 years in some geneaology research conducted by someone I do not know, a stranger provided my most excellent brother, Tim, with some history.  Years later, he forwarded that information to me and I observed that the farther back one looked, the more Hebrew names popped up.  So, for example, 400 years ago I had a grandfather or an uncle named Hezekiah, which would have been properly spoken “Hezekiah, son of Daud”.  There were many more.

I think that Yahuah loves me.  I believe it and am certain of it.

I have not always been devoted to Yahuah.  My childhood was very hard, to hard to write.  By age fourteen I was hiding whiskey at the elementary school down the street from our home.  Whiskey stolen from homes in our neighborhood in the dead of night.

The things I did back then are shocking to me today.  I have had two instances where guns were directed at me by individuals who were absolutely capable of killing.  One was on parole for murder, having shotgunned his ex-wife and her boyfriend in Colorado some years prior. The other was committed to an insane asylum after waiting in ambush for me one night, and failing to get his shot, robbed a convenience store with his three equally armed goons the next day.  Both took place when I was 17.

Yet Yahuah protected me in all things.  Sin?  Sure, I was guilty.  In fact, I had no knowledge of Yahuah nor interest in “god”.  I just wanted to survive.

In a miracle that I cannot explain, when I was 19 years old He filled me with His Holy Spirit one night in the desert, alone and summoned there by His Spirit.

I had been reading a bible that my dear aunt Jan mailed to me when I was in the army.  I was in the Army, armed and in command of a small detachment of Military Police who guarded some missile sites in New Mexico.  I did not know or understand what I was reading, but one verse spoke to me and changed my life.

Romans 5-1 So now, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith in his promises, we can have real peace with him because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. ² For because of our faith, he has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to actually becoming all that God has had in mind for us to be.

Its from The Living Bible, and I will never forget it.  That night, and it was around midnight, I sat at my desk alone reading the Bible that my aunt Jan mailed me, and the power of Yahuah entered into me.

I took a jeep, drove out into the desert, stood there with my hands in the air and the power of Yahuah shook me in a spectacular manner.  Literally shaking violently from head to toe, I spoke in a long stream of wild gibberish and wept a river of tears.  I was truly overwhelmed, and had no idea what was happening.

Yahuah will save whom He will save, and when I read in my heart “look forward to actually becoming all that God has in mind for us to be“, He entered me, brought me out to meet Him, and moved in.

That was 43 years ago.

Much has happened in those 43 years, but this I can tell you now: Yahuah is who He claims to be.  In this life we will face much wickedness and endure much sorrow.  It never ends in this human life.  But endless as well is His love and His devotion to his children.  As our Abba, He gave us instructions for living.  Follow them. Love when you prefer to hate.  Forgive and let go.  Burn your list of wrongs.  Release your resentments and abide in the glory of His light.  Allow yourself to be set free from the condemnation of sin – both your condemnation toward those who hurt you, and their condemnation of you.  Love them anyway.

You are given the path to freedom.  Walk it.