For you who walk in the Way, know that Yahuah is good. After so many years of strife and unending conflict, I now find peace in every direction I walk. It is His Way. Considering that I had to start moving away from my children and their mother on Thanksgiving day, and that I completed my move during Christmas week, to have the peace that I have is a reflection of the love He has for His people.
It is Torah that gives us strength. Torah is the meat and muscle of our position as priests and royalty in the Kingdom of Heaven here and now. Before I was called to Torah, I still loved Yahuah very, very much. He is my life and my God and He redeemed me from the destroyer. But in all of those years of relationship with Him, I did not even know what “Torah” was. I was a classic evangelical “Christian”.
Because I did not have the power of Torah in my soul, I relied on prayer and hope and ate from the bowl of disappointment in most of my daily life for many years.
Pro 28:9 He that turns away his ear from hearing the Torah, even his prayer shall be abomination
I made bad errors of judgement, often discerning the sin but sometimes willfully sinning in spite of the Ruach ha Kodesh actively telling me that I must not execute my plans.
For example, I met a woman that I liked immediately. She was lost and I was found. She lived in an adulterous relationship with a man but would sneak over to my apartment (six apartments down from hers) to hang out with me. I desired her and intended to marry her, primarily because sex outside of marriage is adultery and fornication and wickedness. Yet the Ruach ha Kodesh strongly asserted that I could not marry her, and eventually I walked to her door to tell her that I could not proceed.
When I got to her door, instead of knocking I turned and raised my face to the heaven and said “No. I WILL do this.” Then I went back to my apartment and soon married her. The war between the Truth and the Lie waged within me.
I am so sorry for my disobedience. I regret it deeply. She was lost and after nine years I had to ask Yahuah to “show me what to do, because I will stay in this thing forever trying to make it work.”
Six days later, (the number of man) on the Sabbath, she said three things (the number of Yahuah) – Standing the kitchen with her back to me, she said “I never said I wanted a Christian marriage. I want a divorce and I want you out of the house.”
And with that I was free. I moved out and was blessed. I’ve never seen her since the court date, but sometimes I consider going to her house to see how she is doing. I did enjoy her sense of humor and I would love to see her and talk.
Several months after the divorce was complete, after a morning of intense and trembling prayer in my bedroom (and on the Sabbath), I had the vision and heard the voice of Yahuah speak to me, promising that He is coming in great strength to separate the Righteous from the unrighteous.
Also in that same apartment bedroom and possibly in the same month, I had another very powerful experience. In my bed one night, reading Ezekiel 1, I was seized by the power of Yahuah and raised off the bed, my back and body arched with only my head and feet in contact with the mattress. I was weeping severely and calling on the name of Yahuah and in that moment I changed. My relationship with Him changed.
In that moment, the time of that event and in the calling of His name, I was changed. It was intense, like feeling your body pulled through the space between the bottom of your bedroom door and the floor. Or like I was in the grip, the physical grip of a non-physical force. Tight, and holding my entire body, the cells that make up my body, in that supernatural force. Immense strength. Wailing in tears and calling on the name of El Shaddai, I was given the gift of Certainty.
And now I weep again. I remember the power of that moment. I was crushed by the force of His great strength. My heart was beautifully broken and I surrendered to His love for me. He will never let me go. He will never lose me, nor I Him.
Eze 1:26 And from above the expanse that was over their heads was an appearance like a stone of lapis lazuli azure blue, the likeness of a throne. And on the likeness of the throne was a likeness in appearance like a man on it from above.
Eze 1:27 And I saw Him, like the color of polished bronze, looking like fire within it all around. From the appearance of His loins and upward, and from the appearance of His loins and downward, I saw Him looking like fire; and brightness to it all around.
Eze 1:28 As the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud in the day of the rain, so appeared the brightness all around. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of Jehovah. And I saw, and I fell on my face, and I heard a voice of One speaking.
Reading from verse one, it was this section of the words that seized me and changed me. The Word is alive for those who seek Him.
I am told that I write and speak as one who has authority, yet it is not I who speaks but the spirit of Yahuah that resides within me. I myself am a soul trapped within a temporary tent. My tent is dying, its hold on me weakens and I grow stronger within it. Soon I will be able to depart.
Yahuah IS. Can we describe Him? No, we cannot. We have words. We have movies. We have books. But Yahuah can only be grasped by the spirit, and that by the Holy Spirit of Yahuah as it manifests itself within those who keep the Words of Torah. It has always been Torah which spoke to me. The Torah has always been my home, coursing a path through my very blood and bone. This has always been from the time of my turning in 1993, although I was sealed by Yahuah in the desert night of 1978(?).
I did not understand my sealing when it happened, but do now. It arose from a single moment of wonder as I read around midnight from the Living Bible (which my beloved aunt Jan mailed to me)
5 So now, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith in his promises, we can have real peace with him because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2 For because of our faith, he has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to actually becoming all that God has had in mind for us to be.
Bear in mind that back then, I never read the Bible. I never had any interest in it. But that night, in that Bible were the words that called me. Living Bible, indeed. That very night, before I read one more word, the Hand of Yahuah was on me and He filled me with His Spirit. He set His seal on me and made me His forever. It was wildly radical and to this day is the most powerful experience I have ever had, and brothers and sisters, I have not shared everything with you because some things are simply overwhelming.
But my sealing, that is important. Years later, reading Ezekiel, the Certainty of Him. Not a guess, not an intellectual acceptance, not an attempt to boost my belief, but CERTAINTY. He IS. And in truth, Yahuah is the only real thing of all things that exist. He will always be, and has always been.
Do you know why you are meaningful to Him?
It is because He made you, me and all humans to be like Him. In His image. Like Him. We are so special. Remember that when you see the beggar on the street. He, too, is made in the image of Yahuah yet we leave him to die on the street.
We worry about our own preservation, but ignore the preservation of our neighbor.
Proverbs 28, from the Eth Cepher
Read all of these. Print them and put them on your refrigerator door. Take them to heart. Torah will give you what your spirit is desperate to find. You were made for this was made for you.
Pro 28:1 THE wicked flee when no man pursues: but the righteous are bold as a lion.
Pro 28:2 For the transgression of a land many are the princes thereof: but by a man of understanding and knowledge the state thereof shall be prolonged.
Pro 28:3 A poor man that oppresses the poor is like a sweeping rain which leaves no food.
Pro 28:4 They that forsake the Torah praise the wicked: but such as guard the Torah contend with them.
Pro 28:5 Evil men understand not judgment: but they that seek Yahuah understand all things.
Pro 28:6 Better is the poor that walks in his uprightness, than he that is perverse in his ways, though he be rich.
Pro 28:7 Whoso keeps the Torah is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shames his father.
Pro 28:8 He that by usury and unjust gain increases his substance, he shall gather it for him that will pity the poor.
Pro 28:9 He that turns away his ear from hearing the Torah, even his prayer shall be abomination.
Pro 28:10 Whoso causes the righteous to go astray in an evil way, he shall fall himself into his own pit: but the yashariym shall have good things in possession.
Pro 28:11 The rich man is wise in his own conceit; but the poor that has understanding searches him out.
Pro 28:12 When righteous men do rejoice, there is great glory: but when the wicked rise, a man is hidden.
Pro 28:13 He that covers his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy.
Pro 28:14 Happy is the man that fears always: but he that hardens his heart shall fall into mischief.
Pro 28:15 As a roaring lion, and a ranging bear; so is a wicked ruler over the poor people.
Pro 28:16 The prince that lacks understanding is also a great oppressor: but he that hates covetousness shall prolong his days.
Pro 28:17 A man that does violence to the blood of any person shall flee to the pit; let no man stay him.
Pro 28:18 Whoso walks uprightly shall be saved: but he that is perverse in his ways shall fall at once.
Pro 28:19 He that tills his land shall have plenty of bread: but he that follows after vain persons shall have poverty enough.
Pro 28:20 A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that makes haste to be rich shall not be innocent.
Pro 28:21 To have respect of persons is not good: for for a piece of bread that man will transgress.
Pro 28:22 He that hastens to be rich has an evil eye, and considers not that poverty shall come upon him.
Pro 28:23 He that rebukes a man afterwards shall find more favor than he that flatters with the tongue.
Pro 28:24 Whoso robs his father or his mother, and says, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer.
Pro 28:25 He that is of a proud heart stirs up strife: but he that puts his trust in Yahuah shall be made fat.
Pro 28:26 He that trusts in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walks wisely, he shall be delivered.
Pro 28:27 He that gives unto the poor shall not lack: but he that hides his eyes shall have many a curse.
Pro 28:28 When the wicked rise, men hide themselves: but when they perish, the righteous increase.
Closing, I want to thank all of you commenters. You make my life better. Though I have never seen any of you, I tell your stories to many and your comments directly impact the lives of others for the better. You make a difference. Your voice is heard. You are not alone. You matter.
Yahusha will come for us soon. I expect great destruction but in the midst of it, we will depart. Love others, even and especially those who hate you. Have mercy on them. Be kind to them. The gifts Father has for you in paradise for your good work will be yours for eternity. You will live forever in peace, loving and being loved. Try to testify to the lost as much as possible. Plant the seeds on good soil and on bad. Someone will come to water those seeds and someone will come to harvest your crop.
In peace I close with these words: Forgive your enemies.