No “Lovin’ Feeling”?

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. - Matthew 7:14

Originally posted on December 6, 2019 @ 1:40 pm

I ride a mountain bike for fun and relaxation.  In order to get to the “relaxation” part, I generally have to exhaust myself, and brothers and sisters, I do mean exhaust.  Sometimes my legs are wobbly as I load my bike onto its rack on the back of my 4Runner.  This is because in order to get to that “relaxation” part, I have to ride 3+ hours, and its 3+ hours of some serious mountain biking (MTB) effort.

The trails I ride are in some very hilly terrain, alongside steep dropoffs with fast descents and steep climbs.  Many of the descents are extremely rocky, and those rocks are large, sharp and often pointed.  Its a bad place to fall, for sure, and because it is steep, sometimes there is no stopping when you hit the ground.  You just keep right on tumbling until you hit something large enough to stop you.

Maybe that’s what marriage is like.  Fun, challenging, damaging, painful.  Maybe that’s “love”, because I love MTB and have for 15 years.  The damage I have sustained from some spectacular crashes haven’t deterred me.  In fact, they give me good stories to tell around the MTB campfire.

But when I consider the coming of the Red Dragon, that he comes to destroy those who keep the commands of Yahuah and have the testimony of Yahusha, I remember that in those days also will brother will betray brother unto death.

If brothers are betraying brothers to execution, then spouses will absolutely betray spouses unto death.

How’s your dearly beloved treating you these days?

How are you treating your spouse?

Got that “Lovin’ Feelin”?

I hope you do, for sure.  If you do, wow, that must be awesome.  In the last week two different married women have confided in me that they are really having a time of it at home.  One is saved, the other – unknown.  The “salvation unknown”  woman told me that she is really angry and bitter, a lot.  That she has tried antidepressants and their help in that regard is marginal, and that she is really uncomfortable with her behavior.

All of this out of the blue, the first time she ever spent any time around me.  But we know her and her husband and kids fairly well.  Nice people.

Another woman, this one a follower of Yahuah, confided in me that her husband does not believe as she does, and that she is concerned about that because apparently there is some distance creeping in.

I don’t know how far apart they are, but I do know that The Way is quite peculiar.  The scriptures teach that His people will be a peculiar people, and it is in keeping His commands that we become peculiar, odd, different.

Baseline “Christians”, and by baseline I mean they accepted “Jesus” as their Lord have no desire to follow The Way.  They are saved “by grace” and nothing more is required, so says their Pastor.

With no desire to know the Way, is Yahusha actually their Lord?  “Brings to mind the “Did we not cast out demons in your name” guys, whom Jesus commanded “get away from me.  I never knew you.”

So maybe.  Maybe not.  We are called to obedience, and there is a whole book of teachings on the things we are to obey.  Some “Christians” even believe that fornication is just fine if the two adulterers are “committed” to one another.  No kidding, I had a woman tell me that very thing one evening in her car.

This was 15 or so years ago.

I liked her a lot, but she was so wrong it was shocking.  Her Pastor taught her that, and she wanted to teach me, too 🙂

My point in all this is that in this time we live in, where brother will eventually turn in his own brother or best friend in to the secret police to be executed, you have to know that your own spouse, and you, will feel these spiritual pressures.  You will feel anger toward your spouse for no reason.  And when you have a reason, you will feel even more anger.

The only solution is to pray without ceasing.  That is all any of us can do.  Believe me when I tell you that the greatest burden in my life is my relationship with my own spouse.  It is an insurmountable wall that I cannot climb.  I pray every day of my life, both in my mind and in the spirit, begging for resolution.

Yet no resolution comes.  Stress, strife, a hardness of the heart that seems alive, and it never subsides.  I find that I do not have any desire nor will to do anything to salve the raw places.  I have done that for years, babysitting and cheer-leading an adult spouse, all the while praying that Yahuah would give us a real relationship.

But no.

There is a barrier between us that she must cross, and it has been there for many years.  One individual cannot play both roles in a relationship.  We can do what we should do – husbands love your wives and wives revere your husbands – but if a husband loves his wife while she holds him in contempt, he cannot overcome that.  And if a wife reveres her husband while he holds her in contempt, she cannot overcome that.

Maybe you are paddling your boat on your side, and no one is paddling on the other side.  Maybe your boat is going round and round in endless circles, never getting anywhere.  If you are living according to the Word, and if you take this to Yahuah every day, and if you can continue to love, you will achieve great victory.

We might never have a “right relationship” in this lifetime, but obedience is the key.  This life is short and Heaven is eternal.  Pray for me, and I’ll pray for you.  We shall stand fast and we shall be the children of Yahuah.  We were never promised a painless life, a life absent of sorrows and filled with loving children and spouses.

But we have each other as brothers and sisters in the family of Yahuah.  You are not alone.  People you have not yet met will know and love you soon.

The growing tension is the separation of the righteous from the unrighteous that is promised by the vision.  Stand strong.  Be righteous and do your best to know and obey His commands.  Love people just as you love yourself.  Look out for their best interests.  Take no offense at anything anyone says or does.

That’s some significant letting go, isn’t it?

Personally, I am not able to maintain it.  I’m like a yo-yo in that regard.  I love, and then am offended, then love, offended, love, offended.  But still I do hang in there.  Love requires some vulnerability, which in turn gets exploited, resulting in the “offended” part.

Some people are stone-cold dead inside.  They walk, talk, laugh, smile, drink coffee, drive cars and know people.  But when you look deeper, beyond the veneer of socially appropriate behavior, you find darkness, a vacuum, a “nothingness”.  No heart.  They just live their lives in a day-to-day existence, maybe poor or maybe rich, and repeat that process every day until death comes.

When you are feeling unloved, or when you are unloving or are feeling a gnawing tension that just doesn’t seem to go away, understand that separation and resentment are escalating world wide.  People on the street don’t smile much any more.  Not as friendly.  More isolated, even in a crowd.  Loneliness is a big issue with millennials.  They are probably the most isolated of all people.  Alone in a crowd.  Few if any genuine friends.  They need help.

The separation will continue, and grow in intensity.  If you are feeling some distance in your church, recognize that the separation is world-wide, and also that the wheat is being separated from the tares.  Families are being separated, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives.

Pressure.  Tension.  Separation.

You are His masterpiece, and that designation infuriates the satan.  If you follow the Way, you are his primary target.  Do you understand that?  And prayer is the only weapon you have.  Yes, I know about the “full armor” of Yahuah.  But there is no armor without prayer.  Prayer is the key.  Have a relationship with Yahuah that defies all assault.  Hold to Him even though it means the arrest and execution of your children.

Look, death is nothing.  Its a door that we cross through.  Its painless, even lacking drama.  You simply leave this “reality” and walk into the reality that will always be.  It is our “reality” as humans that is fake.  This “reality” we currently occupy is the make-believe stuff.  That’s why we cry when we are born 🙂

The key is love.  We are assigned a certain number of days on earth, and then we go to be judged by Yahuah.  Wheat, or tare?  Sheep, or goat?  Saved, or lost?  SO the entirety of our human existance is this: Salvation through Yahusha and living according to the commands of Yahuah.  We are commanded to love everyone, and in that we find peace and meaning.  In this nervous, anxious, increasingly desperate world, we will stand out as examples of the one true light, and we will live meaningful lives.

To set yourself free from the tension of separation, love someone today.  Just start wioth one, and let that be your spouse if you are married.  Maybe you have a child that is particularly problematic.  Start there.  Go ahead and expect to be hurt, because we seem to offer olive branches with that expectation.

But your offered love is unconditional.  You are going to love any way, regardless of the conduct of the other.  Just do good, be good, be the light, be the lamp, be kind, be brave, and enjoy the joy you receive.  Do all things in the name of Yahusha and ask Yahuah to guard your heart.  Just today.  Today, you love.

I go to get started…




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2 years ago

Galatians 5:22
Gifts of the Ruach Ha’Qodesh
Self control

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