Life Is A Kaleidoscope Of Sorrows


Life is a kaleidoscope of sorrows.  Every shade and number of sorrow will visit the man, saved or unsaved, who walks upon the face of the earth.  Love leads to weeping.

I do not want to write today.  I sometimes do not want to write any more, ever, and that might come to pass.

I have written my words.  I have testified of the Truth.  I have been faithful to the Commands as I know and understand them.  I have loved, and forgiven and prayed.  I have been joyful, and I have been sorrowful.  I have wept tears upon my keyboard as I testified and as I embraced the spirit of Yahuah.

Love leads to weeping, both in gratitude and in sorrow.

I’m going to write “him”, “he”, “her” and “she” often below, because I am an equal opportunity writer.  One is not better or worse than the other.  The English correct  gender to use is “he”, “him”, “his”, but women share equally in the blame for sorrows and I want to make sure you ladies understand this.

Never place your faith in any man (“man” is also a generic term for all human beings).  Not in your dad, your husband, your son, your pastor or any man whatsoever.  Even more so in any woman because the Truth teaches us that women are the weaker vessel, not allowed to teach men and not one faithful woman in 1000.  That is the Word of Yahuah, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.  If you hate the Words of Yahuah, that should tell you a lot about yourself right there.

And dear Lord do not let me segue into “Respect your husband“.  That would be a scorcher, ladies.  But I will say this since my fingers did not have sense enough to NOT wade off into this: Respecting your husband is how you worship Yahuah.  To disrespect your husband is to deny Yahuah and declare yourself as sovereign.

The word respect is a translation of the Greek word timēsate, meaning “honor or value.” It literally means “to place a great value or high price on something.” Interestingly, today we tend to place our values on our personal rights and the equality of humanity. However, biblical respect is far different, more about a perceived inequality in that we recognize that some things and some people are more important than we (compare Philippians 2:3).

If you have known betrayal, then you know this is true.  If you have betrayed another, then you know this is true.  If you have breathed on this earth very long at all, you know this is true.

As for you men, you all know that you are to love your wife as Yahusha loves His people.  Willing to die for her, right?  But are you willing to live for her?  Are you willing to listen to her as Yahusha listens to our endless prayers?  Are you willing to respond to her stated needs, just as you yourself want Yahusha to answer your prayers?  Are you willing to comfort her when she is wounded?  Are you willing to stand your ground when she wants you to ignore a command of Yahuah?  Are you willing to be the brother of Yahusha and conduct yourself with her as He would?  Are you harsh with her?  Would you wash her feet?

Those most willing to love are the ones most often deceived by others.  There is a vulnerability in some men and women that relieves the hearts’ guard and exposes the vulnerability.  Those least capable of love are likewise attracted by the vulnerable heart, seeking relief themselves from their own heart’s  incapacity.

So the two trap themselves in a bond that is sure to break, leaving one in a blood red pool of regret and the other justifying his choice with no remorse or even recognition that his own soul is in fact dead.

It is fascinating that those who have the capacity to love are so often drawn to those who are incapable of love.  The incapable one knows a good thing when she sees it, and is generally willing at first to entertain the possibility that “this might be love”.  The other one, the person who does in fact love, believes the fake loving behavior of the incapable one because why not?  If you can love and your partner can fake it, how do you discern the truth?

My brother made a comment in an email he sent me a few years ago, and I just re-read it today, and that by mere accident.  I was looking for the name of his former wife so that I might inquire about her in an email I was writing to him.

His comment was in response to my statement that divorce is sin except in the case of adultery.  He said that yes, it is sin, but a sin that pales to the sin of murder that recurs in our heart when we have a wicked spouse.  And that sin of murder happens over and over, repeating itself until the end.

“Murder” is that hatred in the heart of an aggrieved person.  You, perhaps.  There need not be a body on the floor with a hammer buried in it.  We murder every time we so strongly dislike a person that we hate them.

1Jn 3:15  Whosoever את hates his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

So there you have it.  My brother, Tim, is correct.

Do you hate your spouse?  Are you honest with yourself?  Seriously. Have you ever hated your spouse?  How about this: Have you ever been told that you lack the capability to empathize with another?  Empathy – do you hurt when someone else hurts?  When you see the poor on the streets, does your heart weep for them, or do you choose to judge them instead, or to ignore them or to say “they did it to themselves”?

So in this end-of-year “holiday” period, there is no doubt a lot of sadness, depression, fear, etc. going around.  Yes, yes I know there is a lot of good too, but good takes care of itself.  Sadness, despair, loneliness – these things need addressing.

No matter who you are or where you are, I guarantee you that there are people who love you.  You might even be greatly surprised to learn who some of those people are.  Someone somewhere thinks you are great.  Someone somewhere thinks you are a very valuable person.  Someone somewhere respects you, loves you and prays to Yahuah that you will just give them a call.

I don’t know who that is, but if there is an itch that you have to call someone, do it.

As for the narcissists out there, yes you might be married to one or you might be one.  Ask your mate.  So far the only cure I know of is direct intervention by Yahuah.  No pills will work.  No conversation is likely to work because narcissists can never see the problem.  A great example – I know a woman who is divorced and has some kids.  One of the kids told me personally that “Why can’t she see that she is the problem!”

I thought that was a pretty amazing observation for a child to make.  Later, he made that same suggestion to his mother, and her reply was classic: “How would you know that I am the problem, as you say?”  She went into a litany of all that she does and all that she tolerates and that the kids can move out and will be pushed out “the day they turn 18”.  Then a lengthy rebuttal of him and complete denial of every possibility that she might be the problem.

Point made: Yes, she is the problem.

What would we expect to hear from a healthy person when told that they might be the problem?

  • “Seriously?  What am I doing wrong?
  • Have I hurt you?
  • “Wow, I never saw it that way.”
  • Can you elaborate on that a bit?”

Things like that .  Replies that indicate she is seriously searching for truth.  Or he.

The point is this: There are people who love you.  If the people you surround yourself with are closed off, unloving, disinterested, blameless in their own eyes, then find better friends.  I don’t think divorce is a good choice if your spouse has been at least sexually faithful.  Fidelity matters a lot.  And there is no biblical requirement for you to divorce even if your spouse did cheat.

It depends on what you want to do.   You can stick with a cheating spouse if there is genuine remorse and genuine forgiveness.  But a second “event” would be the end of that marriage.

That’s kind of off topic, though.  We are looking at mates who are apparently unable to love another person.  They fake it at first, and believe me, if they turn into a different person within the first year of marriage, then they lied in order to gain a person as a possession.

Only an emotionally crippled fraud would literally steal the years of life from a person whom the fraudulent so disregarded as a human being that she married him in order to feel safe from herself.

Shabbat Shalom, brothers and sisters.


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1 year ago

Jerry, thank you for this. I’m the loving one who didnt understand that there are men who possess and control, rather than love deeply..because they couldn’t. To this day, I waver back and forth if he loved me or not, with the latter bringing me to tears that he wanted to change my personality; and more tears that his family didn’t approve of me. I believe he was envious of my light that shined bright from heart of love and empathy. I wasn’t quiet enough..I talked too much. The punishments from him was to ignore me and me to learn how to get what I needed from him. Obviously, I never learned. I was too deep for him..too much, according to a female who liked him..he has a great personality, she said. I saw how much fun he was but he didnt show me that side. He wasn’t engaging and seemed uninterested in me..yet jealous when any man complimented me or if I was friendly, like to his friends. He didnt like me making him… Read more »

1 year ago
Reply to  Jerry

Thank you Jerry. Enslavement is definitely not love nor healthy..its abuse and unnecessary. You found yourself in that feeling as well. I understand when you say..empathy of a shark. None. I’m sorry your path led you to that person..even the wisest can be fooled and hurt. They do know what they’re doing and they do it to keep us confused… they cant be alone, they control their SO..but have fun with everyone else. The trauma bond is real. Proud of you in what you’re doing to help others and reaching people despite that pain. That’s your purpose now..and ours is to learn and follow Yahuah. Maybe Yahuah will claim her and him. We can only hope!

1 year ago
Reply to  Polly

Hi Polly, my heart goes out to you, and I know that I love you because you are such a beautiful person, and a lover of Yahuah.
There is a separation going on, and Yahuah is calling His people, and the separation is so obvious, and because Yahuah wants all from us , then has the battle become spiritual.
We are all letting things go from our lives for Yahuah demands all, to follow Him.
I love you ,you beautiful beautiful lovely lady.

As Yahuah lives Aviyah

1 year ago
Reply to  Jerry

Thank you Jerry. I’m glad I found you!!! I was compelled to find you for knowledge, hope and faith with others of faith and love. The love and knowledge is felt here. 💜

1 year ago
Reply to  Aviyah

Aviyah..thank you for your beautiful note. Your words are felt deeply as what you say I know to be true. Yahuah does call on us as the obvious separation takes place. It’s not easy to watch as I wrestle with the realization that Satan is working within our government and specifically, as a shadow govt. We have to separate because of this spiritual battle you and Jerry speak of. Thank you for loving me. When I first read your note, I was unable to respond because you were loving as was Jerry..I’m not used to that. I love Yahuah. He’s carried me through some painful storms as we wait on the next. I love you Aviyah. We’re in this together.

1 year ago
Reply to  Polly

Hi Polly, I love you, for you are MY sister, and Jerry My brother. I believe, that YAHUAH made us for this age during. For me the last few years have been the most difficult, and there has lots and lots of tears,but I believe YAHUAH is preparing me and Polly and Jerry and making us stronger in HIM for the next step. YAHUAH leads and we take that one step at a time,trusting.We are HIS collective bride making herself ready. YAHUSHA cried, many tears, tortured, and crucified, but delighted to do the will of Father YAHUAH . On another note, I am keeping the Zadok calender, found in the Dead sea scrolls. You can view it under. “Torah is light”, and also has scriptural proof. Rachel Elior wrote. FROM THE SUN TO THE MOON for The Jerusalem Post. Check it out. WOW, I so love this calendar. The Zadoks were appointed to be the priests forever, and were usurped.There is so much more to write, but you will discover if you haven’t already. THE… Read more »

1 year ago

Dear Jerry,

Thankyou for sharing. I have been studying Yahuahs Set Apart Ruach.I started with Wisdom chapter one, and since, has moved on to become quite a study, of the love and redemption by Yahusha’s blood.. ,and how we should all conduct ourselves, not to grieve the beautiful gift of Yahuah’s Set Apart Ruach. Proverbs chapt 2,chapt 3,chapt 4 and many many many more.
Widom7 v 24-28.
For Yahuah loves no one but him that dwells with Wisdom.
Thank you for the opportunity to share.

As Yahuah lives,

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