I think X-mas is tomorrow. How ironic it is that the “X-mas” thing, which is so offensive to most Christians, is also quite true. There is nothing of Yahusha in this pagan holy day.
But today is too important to spend it discussing what has already been put to bed.
Instead, let us talk about lust – you know – the “thirsting for another” kind of lust. Have you ever done that? Have you ever been snuggled up to your husband or wife or girlfriend or boyfriend, or crusing in your car or on your motorcycle or sitting alone on a park bench or sitting in church, burning with aching desire to have the person across the room, or in some other town, or across your dinner table?
Like a mighty vise clamping down on the flesh and bones of humanity, so the world is squeezed by the crushing hand of Yahuah. Sin, which is rebellion, earns its just reward.
There is a way that seems right unto man, that in the end leads to death. So it is. I am grateful that Yahuah shows me these things. He teaches me Truth, opens my heart to His teachings, and loads me up with what seems more than I can bear.
I am so different from everyone I meet, and lonely. I live a solitary life, and He seems to call me to this. He has His reasons, His purpose. He knows what to do.
But His Word tells us that He will never place more on us than we can bear, and that we are to place our burdens on Him. But how does one place grief in Him, when it exists within our heart? How does one stop grieving, when grief, by its very essence, resides within us? To give that to Him?
What it is, is this: The juxtaposition of love with selfishness. To feel and experience the potential and to live with the demands of selfishness creates a tear in the fabric of one’s soul. To see the good, as if it is a distant shore, and to yearn for it as one floats at sea in a boat denied that shore, is hard.
We are capable of loving to an extent unimaginable. Yet we fear that love, we fear giving it, and rightly so considering the fraud and deciet that passes for common behavior in people. All of us struggle with living truthful lives. Just when we think ourselves rather truthful, we offer up a lie where the truth belongs.
We hate to be convicted of our sin, and our pride insists that we be invulnerable. Why?
We fear being that open heart. We fear offering love when we are most wounded. We hide behind “success” or wealth or popularity or a fancy car or other possessions. I do not know a single soul who lives from love. Not even me, the mighty Jerry Davis, Son of Daud and Lion of Truth.
In fact, I am quite well armed. I prepare for war, not for love. I see the collapse of our world and I prepare to defend myself and my family. I am so much the warrior that I seem unable and unwilling to become love. Yet love is the true strength.
Abraham, the righteous man, the progenitor of the Hebrew, a promise kept by Yahuah , lied sometimes. He also led his men into battle against the kings who conquered Sodom. Study Abraham’s youth. You will be impressed. He was always one willing to fight wickedness. What a fine man he is.
Daud, whom has been renamed “David” by the transliteralists who mangle the Words, was a man after Yahuahs own heart. From the throne of Daud, Mashiach Yahusha will rule for 1000 years. Hail Yahusha, my friend, the Living Truth.
Daud was a mighty warrior.
My name and my ancestors, Davis, comes from a region near Wales, on the island of Britian. My name is a creation of the English-speaking people over there, who referred to my people as “the davy’s” , or “Davids sons”. The Hebrew spelling, as far as I can determine, is בניו של דוד.
Going back 400 years in some geneaology research conducted by someone I do not know, a stranger provided my most excellent brother, Tim, with some history. Years later, he forwarded that information to me and I observed that the farther back one looked, the more Hebrew names popped up. So, for example, 400 years ago I had a grandfather or an uncle named Hezekiah, which would have been properly spoken “Hezekiah, son of Daud”. There were many more.
I think that Yahuah loves me. I believe it and am certain of it.
I have not always been devoted to Yahuah. My childhood was very hard, to hard to write. By age fourteen I was hiding whiskey at the elementary school down the street from our home. Whiskey stolen from homes in our neighborhood in the dead of night.
The things I did back then are shocking to me today. I have had two instances where guns were directed at me by individuals who were absolutely capable of killing. One was on parole for murder, having shotgunned his ex-wife and her boyfriend in Colorado some years prior. The other was committed to an insane asylum after waiting in ambush for me one night, and failing to get his shot, robbed a convenience store with his three equally armed goons the next day. Both took place when I was 17.
Yet Yahuah protected me in all things. Sin? Sure, I was guilty. In fact, I had no knowledge of Yahuah nor interest in “god”. I just wanted to survive.
In a miracle that I cannot explain, when I was 19 years old He filled me with His Holy Spirit one night in the desert, alone and summoned there by His Spirit.
I had been reading a bible that my dear aunt Jan mailed to me when I was in the army. I was in the Army, armed and in command of a small detachment of Military Police who guarded some missile sites in New Mexico. I did not know or understand what I was reading, but one verse spoke to me and changed my life.
Romans 5-1 So now, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith in his promises, we can have real peace with him because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2 For because of our faith, he has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to actually becoming all that God has had in mind for us to be.
Its from The Living Bible, and I will never forget it. That night, and it was around midnight, I sat at my desk alone reading the Bible that my aunt Jan mailed me, and the power of Yahuah entered into me.
I took a jeep, drove out into the desert, stood there with my hands in the air and the power of Yahuah shook me in a spectacular manner. Literally shaking violently from head to toe, I spoke in a long stream of wild gibberish and wept a river of tears. I was truly overwhelmed, and had no idea what was happening.
Yahuah will save whom He will save, and when I read in my heart “look forward to actually becoming all that God has in mind for us to be“, He entered me, brought me out to meet Him, and moved in.
That was 43 years ago.
Much has happened in those 43 years, but this I can tell you now: Yahuah is who He claims to be. In this life we will face much wickedness and endure much sorrow. It never ends in this human life. But endless as well is His love and His devotion to his children. As our Abba, He gave us instructions for living. Follow them. Love when you prefer to hate. Forgive and let go. Burn your list of wrongs. Release your resentments and abide in the glory of His light. Allow yourself to be set free from the condemnation of sin – both your condemnation toward those who hurt you, and their condemnation of you. Love them anyway.
It’s late; 12:12 AM. I’m listening to a singer who goes by the name “Sade”. She is singing a song titled “Somebody Already Broke My Heart”, and this woman can sing. Its smooth, almost jazz, but much better, with a simple rythm, simple lyrics and her velvet voice.
Let me tell you this: I used to slaughter and BBQ a live rabbit every Easter just to drive the point home to my baby girl that there was no bunny in Easter. I served him on a platter with a small apple in its mouth. Furious at what human beings had done to mock the conquest of death by Yahusha.
Greetings to all. I have not written much since February because we (family) have been in a period of transition. Big stuff happening. But as of this morning, the most difficult phase is complete, and after many years (over a decade of regular, diligent prayer) Yahuah has separated the Righteous from the unrighteous. He is Holy, and He is merciful.
Dear friends, know this: Whatsoever you ask will be done. Know what you ask. Know why you ask. Have His Word as the cornerstone of your request, and stone by stone therafter, your prayer will build its cause before Yahuah. Bear in mind that Yahuah is exceedingly patient, and He years for His creature to attain salvation. But most do not. Continue reading “Some Hope, Some Peace, and Some Good Information”
Remember when you first started using email, and sometimes you would hit the SEND key before you edited your fresh composition? Or maybe you wrote a real payback-is-hell email to your boss or wife or husband or friend, and it was mostly an exercise of “Oh I wish I could send this”, and you sent it?
I did that two minutes ago.
Not an email but a posting that went out to a whole bunch of subscribers. It is a piece about fidelity, respect, obedience from wives to husbands. I have some wonderful women who subscribe to me and I do try to be sensitive to “feelings”.
Nonetheless, Yahuah is no respector of persons, so neither should we be. And wrong is wrong. Sin is sin and we all need to love more faithfully.
There is a personal, direct, on-going “walk” (‘walk’ seems cliche’) with Yahuah that runs through the souls of His sons and daughters. We feel His presence, we talk to Him and He ministers to us through His spirit. We are, to quote the street, “‘feelin’ it, dawg”.
As a man and husband, I am keenly aware that I am commanded to love my wife as I love myself. It is a command, not an idea or a suggestion. Love also covers a multitude of sins, or transgressions of the law.
I ride a mountain bike for fun and relaxation. In order to get to the “relaxation” part, I generally have to exhaust myself, and brothers and sisters, I do mean exhaust. Sometimes my legs are wobbly as I load my bike onto its rack on the back of my 4Runner. This is because in order to get to that “relaxation” part, I have to ride 3+ hours, and its 3+ hours of some serious mountain biking (MTB) effort.
Through a glass, darkly. That is how the best of us live, seeing our lives through the Holy Spirit (if saved and having turned from our disobedience to obedience) and filtering the truth through our human minds and emotions.
Until we are free from our physical, dirt-centric human vessels, we must endure the imperfect understanding we live with now. As human beings, we can never walk as we will walk with Him in the next.
So we march along, sometimes smug in our status, sometimes shamed by our sin, always dealing with the contrast between our dirt foundation and the righteous perfect love made manifest by the Holy Spirit, who dwells within those who love Yahusha and obey His commands.
Hello. How’s your day? Do you have troubles that hurt? Fears? Concerns? Have people you relied upon violated your trust? Are your friends, spouses, children unfaithful to you? Are you betrayed by those who claim to love you?
In all of my life, all the years I have lived and in all of the utterly profound ways Yahuah has reached out to me, I have only experienced faithfulness from one source. No human has ever been faithful to me, not one. The closest any person ever came to being faithful to me as a human being was my mother, who is dancing in Heaven now.
I’ve rarely had a faithful friend. Two of my best friends, both dead, were exceptionally loyal. One, Lane Alton McCarty was closer to me than my own brother for 45 years, right up until he gave up on life, turned to meth and died a shriveled up addict alone in a Houston hospital. He died angry, filled with hatred for me because he was certain that I had told his mother about his addiction. Meth. It destroys the mind first.
He was not a believer. He was a “christian” if you asked him, but he had no desire to know Yahuah. He would listen to me and he knew that I was quite different in my faith, but he loved himself most of all. In the end, it was my faithfulness to him that maintained our friendship, and my faithfulness to him that broke it. I gave him the tough love that I knew he would reject, but someone had to very bluntly tell him that he was on the path of death.
My ex-wife hugged me a couple of hours ago, telling me that everything would be alright. I’m under immense pressure these days, and really struggling in my mind with some big burdens. Her hug was a nice gesture, but I replied to her that I would rather be hugged by a woman who was faithful to me. I don’t mean sexually faithful, but faithful in her heart, mind and actions. Faithful. Faithful in her decisions, her words and her thoughts. Trustworthy and reliable.
My nephew told me this morning that I had been married several times, and I have. Three times women have divorced me. Two were sexually involved with other men before divorcing me and this latest one just did not want the demands of “wife” on her shoulders. One less voice for her to hear. One less obligation. So good riddance to our history, our family, our commitment, our children’s family, their dad, their heritage. All for the sake of her imagined convenience.
In all of this there is one true friend, my rock steady Yahusha, always praying for me, dying for me, teaching me to love every other person on earth. He is with me all the time. When I am dying inside, there He is. When I want to drive over a cliff, there He is. When I eat, exercise, write – there He is. He never leaves me or forsakes me. He is always with me. He alone is faithful. He alone.
All of my life-long friends are dead. And I don’t have any new friends. I haven’t made an actual friend this century, because my wife and children were my world. I gave them my life, even quitting two jobs (both at the urgent pleading of my wife) to help at home with the kids and homeschooling. She concluded that home schooling was far to difficult, and wanted to put them in public school. Horror show, public school.
Then she signed a lease on a new home in town and moved half our furniture into it while I was away with my sons mountain biking about 1400 miles away. We moved, regrettably, and a few months later she filed for divorce. She didn’t tell me that she filed for divorce, nor did she bother telling the children. I was simply chased 30 miles by some stranger, and when I phoned her from my car she replied “He’s probably trying to serve you. I filed for divorce today.”
My children heard her the same instant I did.
It might be that Solomon is right – that in all his life, he never met a single faithful woman. That’s right, he said that. But he also said that only one man in 1000 is faithful. Not a significant percentage, but better than zero.
Eve sure wasn’t faithful, and she led Adam, who foolishly followed her into sin. Foolish man. Faithless woman. And her first born proved himself wicked by murdering her second born. She lost them both. A high price to pay for eating one single fruit.
Regret and remorse grow in the soil of infidelity.
What did Eve first think as she looked on the dead body of her faithful Abel? As she looked into his dead eyes and as she called out his name over and over, how her infidelity must have weighed down on her with unimaginable weight. The personal responsibility for bringing death and murder into the lives of her own children. I do not see how she withstood the pain. Eve suffered, you can be sure of that. Poor woman. The eternal grieving, the bottomless pit of her first nights sleep with her faithful Abel dead in the cold, dark earth outside.
Her good boy.
I would yearn for death until I died. No way I could have endured what she and Adam endured.
Foolish Adam. Foolish man. Did you weep, father Adam, as you dug the burial pit? Did you blame Yahuah? Satan? Eve? Yourself? Did hatred for Cain grow in your heart? Did mercy?
Poor people. The sorrow they must have endured their entire lives, knowing that they were responsible, in part, for every wicked thing, every accident, dead child, broken bone, lie, fight, and murder among all men for eternity.
“Here is our father Adam, who gave us the consequence of his disobedience.”
And we think Job had it tough.
Within four months of my X-wife’s divorce, my beautiful 13 yr-old son was arrested on a felony theft charge. My son who used to cry when I prayed with him. Now he mocks Yahuah.
Sin has consequences. His family was cut down on an impulse by someone he trusted to protect his family. One he relied on did what he most feared. Sin has consequences. Ask Cain. Ask Eve.
We might never have faithful friends or faithful spouses. We might experience significant betrayal from people we most love. But we must always be true to ourselves. We must be faithful to our own being, and the only path to that faithfulness is the Way, because when we follow Yahusha in the Way, we become faithful. We become steady, stable, wise and loving.
We will continue to live even when death suits us more. We walk in light and righteousness, even when we are in despair. Why? Because we are faithful, silly 🙂 We are called to be the faithful. We cannot imagine any other path.